Sunday, April 26, 2009


Ended up at the tubs Friday night. One of those nights when I wasn't feeling particularly horny (ie I couldn't get it up) but really needed to get my rocks off.

i sucked off one guy without much enthusiasm (he was a lazy top, he had a cut dick and his aftershave put me off). He gave me a bitter load. Normally I swallow but I wasn't into him enough. I spat it out and went looking for something different.

When it came it wasn't what I was expecting. A younger guy, around my height (5'8"), a bit chunky but ok looks, groped me and then told me to follow him into a cubicle. He asked me if I was into dirty sex. I asked what he meant. He said he wanted to hurt me. Whew. I said sure, dropped my towel and locked the door.

He was serious. He pulled me down onto his dick, slapped me in the face, told me not to get any teeth on his dick. In the next few minutes he kept surprising me: a fist in the guts, then another. He slapped me in the face and made me say thank you. He brought his knee up into my balls. It hurt like hell and got me worried - I have zero tolerance for having my balls kicked. He pulled me up onto the squab, turned me on my back, head over the edge, and pushed his dick into me again. His dick was a bit bigger than average, nothing special, but uncut and juicy. Main thing was that he was hard and he was able to push it all the way in so his pubes were hard against my mouth and I was struggling to get any breath. You know how it is: you start to see stars after a minute of this, and then come up gasping. He gave me a couple of hits of amyl to open me up.

He continued this for a few minutes, talking dirty the whole time and slapping and punching me all the while. He pulled me all the way up on the squab and sat his arse down on my face, pulling his cheeks apart so his hole was on my mouth and my nose was blocked. I was running out of breath again.

He kept coming back to my balls. Got to the point I just couldn't take more. I called a halt and we talked. He seemed completely sane, which was part of the turn-on of the whole thing. He's into dominance and pain in a big way. I said I wanted to get tied down and take a serious belting on my arse. He's up for it. Unfortunately he's from out of town so I'm not sure when we'll be able to arrange it. He only plays safe so I won't be getting him to leave a load up my arse. He left soon after - he was there with his boyfriend. But he gave me his online contact.

After another wait I found a guy in the maze who was looking to get sucked. He looked Fijian or something like that. Not that young but nice body, all muscles. I dropped to my knees and got to work. There was plenty to work on: he had a big dick, uncut, with lots of foreskin and a moist shiny head. We started slow and then he started pumping, pushing his head down my throat and getting it all sloppy. I took some poppers and got back to work. I asked if he wanted to fuck me. The answer was yes. I stood up, turned and started to back onto him. He wouldn't do it without a rubber. We decided to go to a cubicle.

He rubbered up and tried to get into me. I was on my back on the mattress. He got his dick in and pushed for a while but something wasn't quite right. He pulled out and got me to suck him to harden him up before trying again. Still wasn't working. I got down and sucked him till his dick was standing out straight again then turned round. This time he pushed the head against my hole without a rubber, then pushed all the way in. I bent over the squab and took more poppers as he started pumping me harder. He pulled me onto him as he kept banging me. For the first time all night my dick was getting hard. I jerked myself as he fucked me faster and harder.

I could tell he was close. I made a mental decision I wouldn't make him pull out before he came in me. This is starting to be a habit. It worries me. It is also a huge turn-on - knowing I'm going to take a load. The Fijian guy was banging me hard, his breathing was fast. I couldn't hold off: I blew a load over the mattress, making a lot of noise as I did. That tipped the other guy over the edge. He pulled out then blew a load over my arse and my back. I was half sorry, half relieved. We laughed and then headed off for the showers. I think he's probably negative: the fact he wanted to use a rubber at first was a giveaway (unless he's poz and trying to behave ...) But I think he's the same guy that fucked me a few years ago and I sorta remember an issue then when he was fucking me raw and then his partner joined us and made him rubber up.

The real point of it all is that I seem to have crossed a line: I'm now basically wanting to take loads - even without asking if the guy is negative. Barebacking was risky enough even when I was telling guys not to cum in me. I'm into different risks if I'm taking loads from strangers. Objectively it's really stupid. But I'm not sure how I'm going to talk myself into going back to a no-cum policy. Watch this space.


Anonymous said...

Hey man, I think you should just take a deep breath and go for it -- start taking more cumloads. It's incredibly liberating -- you won't ever look back!

Mikey said...

yeah bud, it's tempting. And I feel I'm on a slippery slope that's taking me in that direction already. I guess I'm still holding back because I really really don't want all the hassle with meds, side effects, being sick etc. But with all the slutty role models out there busy taking loads it's not exactly easy to turn back and start behaving again :o)