Thursday, March 2, 2017

Living dangerously

Someone up there is trying to tell me something. I went in for routine tests last week. The clinic called to say the HIV test had come back equivocal – again! I figured this time my number was up, though after last time it was also in the back of my mind that this could be a pattern...
Monday night I was still waiting for the follow-up test results to come back. But somehow I couldn't get too wound up about it all. In the end I decided what I needed was some slutty sex. I didn't have much luck: I headed out to the tubs but there weren't many guys around. A young bear showed interest. We eyed each other up in the pool and then headed off to a shower cubicle. He was super sensitive everywhere: whimpered when I played with his nipples, nibbled his jaw and neck, and especially when I stuck my tongue up his hole. And did I mention he had a big hard uncut dick? We played for a while. He tried to get his dick into my hole but then seemed to decide against fucking me raw. He couldn't get enough of me rimming him – he ended up coming while I had my tongue up his arse, pushing his dick back so I could get a taste of his jazz.
Then there was an odd triangle. I joined a couple of guys who were playing around on a mattress in one of the public rooms. The guy on top didn't object when I spread his butt open and started licking. He didn't object when I slapped my dick on his arse and then slid it in. I fucked him for a few minutes, from behind and then pushing down into him from on top. But then he decided he'd had enough and bailed out.
Later I watched from the other side of the room as he was getting fucked by a younger guy, lean and sexy. They finished but I couldn't tell what had happened. I got chatting to the younger guy later and asked if he wanted to fuck me. Turned out he'd had trouble keeping hard with the other guy, and he couldn't get hard enough even to get it into me. So that was my evening.
Last night I rendezvoused with my slutty sub mate. I slapped him around a bit to wake him up, rough fucked him up against the wall and then on the floor. But couldn't cum. After a break he wanted to fist me – he's got into it over the past year. It was nude night at the club though we were the only two there at the start. Part way through another guy came in. He was hot: younger, lean, sweet face. For a few minutes he watched from the door while T was working my hole with a dildo and then his fist. Later when we took another break we got chatting. Turned out what he really wanted to see was me fisting T! Being a good-natured guy I could hardly refuse. This time we used the sling room and turned the lights up while hot stuff watched from the door and jerked himself. He'd never seen live fisting up close. 
Oh and the clinic finally got back to me yesterday morning... viral load was negative again. I need to talk to the doc: something about cross-reactions. Either way I'm keen not to get more false positives. 

Friday, February 3, 2017

Doing it for The Donald

It's been a shitty summer here but there was a bit of sunshine this afternoon so I headed up the hill. I wandered around and sat in the sun for an hour but there was nothing happening. I was heading up to the track to come home when I saw a guy waving at me. It was the Iraqi guy who I'd hooked up with several times up there over many years. I hadn't seen him for nearly a decade.
He was the first guy I fucked bare in the AIDS era. I've always thought I was running big risks fucking with him – he's a pushy bottom as well as top and never wears a rubber. But he turns me on bigtime. Today as before the lure of getting naked and fucking trumped anything my brain was telling me about risk. On top of that I'd had a shitty week and – unusually for me – I had been in a dark fuck-it-all mood all day.
So when I saw him I didn't muck around. I wandered down to him, opened his fly, and pulled his dick out. It was as I remembered it: big, dark, uncut, slimy and hardening fast. I love his dick. His body turns me on too. He's now got a bit of a belly but his thighs and butt are muscled and strong. He's got Levantine looks with a grey goatee. He is as sexual as ever.
I started sucking him. A younger white guy who hadn't been interested in me earlier came and joined in, opening the guy's belt and pulling his pants down. The white guy had dropped his shorts and his dick was oozing precum. Khaled made me suck the guy for a few minutes. Then the white guy told him to fuck me. It was all on. I dropped my shorts and turned round. He pushed in raw.
You know how it is: there's a lot of guys who can get hard and get their dick in you but then get soft and can't cum. Not this one. Khaled stayed hard. He humped me for maybe five minutes before I felt that wet sensation in my arse. When he pulled out there was still a bit of semen leaking from his piss slit. And I had a load in me. He rearranged himself and headed down to the road. Looks as if he's now driving a taxi.
I don't actually know that he's Iraqi or Syrian or whatever. I don't even know whether he originally came here as a refugee. But let's assume he is and he did. As I slowly came back down the hill in the sunshine I had a smile on my face. And I was thinking: refugee... muslim... (he's uncut, but who knows...)  slutty raw arse fucking out in the sunshine... cum dripping from my faggy hole. Dunno if this makes any sense but to my mind it all came together as: this one was for you, Donald!
I'm still smiling.

Friday, September 30, 2016

Dodged a bullet

Final results came back. Negative for HIV including from viral load test. Doctor said it was unusual to get a false positive, let alone "equivocal" result. May have been contamination somewhere in the process.
Looking back the most striking thing about it was my reaction. I suppose I should have been freaking out. But I wasn't. Maybe it's because I've been taking risks for so long now (I've been barebacking since the early 2000s) and I've adjusted to the chances of getting pozzed.
The other thing is, I found the idea of being poz a bit of a turn-on. The idea of being infected doesn't do anything for me - I've never been into bug-chasing. And I don't want to be on meds for the rest of my life.
But the idea of being able to drop all inhibitions and take all and any loads... that's a turn-on.
But for now it looks as if I'm stuck with this tension between wanting my hole drenched in cum and trying to limit my risks.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

The wages of sin

It's been a strange weekend. Thursday the GP called me in to tell me my regular HIV test had come back "equivocal". They've drawn another sample and I'll find out the result on Tuesday. But it's not looking good. 
The strange thing is that I'm not really freaking out about it. Maybe that's just the fatalistic side of my personality. Maybe it's the fact that I've accepted from a long time ago that high risk behaviour means a high risk of getting posted. And I think I have a good understanding of what it might mean in practice. 
The funny thing is that there is an element of relief in it all. I spent some time this morning checking out a listing for bareback sex parties, getting hard thinking of getting bred by a series of black guys. 
The reality of not being able to bareback with negative guys plus having to take a pill every day will take most of the fun out of it I suspect. 
We'll see what Tuesday brings. 

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Nostalgia sex

The last couple of months have been a bit of a dry spell. I've been out to the clubs a few times but didn't get much action. And some of the edge has gone off the sex–is that what happens when you get older? I've hooked up a couple of times with N who's always a great fuck. But these days he won't meet up in the park and it's always hard to find a time when the coast is clear at home.
Yesterday out of the blue I got a message from K. Just getting a message was great–for me he's always been something more than a fuck bud. But it turned out he was horny too.
We drank a bit of wine, then got naked and started making out. Soon enough he had me on my knees eating out my hole. He fucked my face for a while. Then he rubbered up and slid into my hole. I've said it before, he's the only guy who always hurts me when he fucks me. This time was no different. He's big, but it's mostly the fact that he stays hard and pushes in deep. And although he's a sweet guy he's a merciless top.  
He had me in a few different positions, fucking me hard and deep and making me groan. After half an hour he came and lay beside me while we made out for a while. Then he pushed into me raw. That's how I like it but I don't ask him for it–he's the one who's hung up on not getting infected so I figure it's up to him to decide how much risk he wants to run.
Next he starts fingering my arse. Then he's using four fingers to fuck my hole. After he's loosened me up a bit he's in with his whole fist. I tell him to go for it. He doesn't need any more encouragement. He alternates fists. For a while he has his raw dick in there as well as his fist. He gets off on making me squirm. Then he's punching my hole. At one point I end up on my back bent double with my toes hooked up in his bedhead while he fucks down into me and then punchfists me from above. Hot!
A little while later he's lying on the bed, rough fisting me with his right hand while he jerks his his big dick with his left. Then his dick's in my mouth gushing cum.
It wasn't the greatest sex we've ever had but just seeing him again, drinking, talking, kissing and getting naked was special. I miss him when I haven't seen him for a while but when we do get together we always seem to be a good fit. He's got a pervy streak which adds to the fun. I keep hoping he'll piss in my hole again but I guess he's deciding barebacking with me is too risky. (Which is fair enough: he's worked out that I take a lot more risks than he is comfortable with).

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Both ways

This happened nearly a year ago.
I was at a party when I got a call. It was Enrique. I had hooked up with him only once, half a world away in Lima. He had told me he was coming here but hadn't said when. On the phone he said he only had that night free before going down to Hiroshima. 
We met at around 11pm. He wanted to go to a bathhouse. We started in the bath–he had sore feet after a week of sightseeing. Then headed up to the room and got into it. He's a big guy, friendly, bearded, big uncut dick, poz but undetectable. He was all lazy while I massaged his back and feet and rimmed his nasty arse. Then he flipped me over, hardened up and starting pushing in, dry. It hurt like fuck but I wanted him in me. He makes the most of his size: he pounded me on my front, then flipped me over onto my back and piston fucked me more. The banged me hard from above. He hadn't cum for nearly a week and didn't last that long.  
When he was done he slept for half an hour then announced he was leaving. 
In Lima he had been all friendly and chatty. Maybe he was just too tired for it this time. But I was sorry to see him leave.
Funny thing is, he seems to want to stay in touch. I got a message from his just a few days ago from him on bbrt from Florida. Not sure we'll find ourselves in the same town again but you never know.

It's been a while

I've had a dry spell. But on Friday Nori came round and put a load in me. Often I give up on him - he fucks me around, says he wants to come round then doesn't, wants to turn up at 2 o'clock in the morning, shit like that. But when he shows he's all hard dick and rough fuck. He knows to work my nipples hard. 
I hadn't had a dick inside me for about five weeks. He made the wait almost worthwhile. After he'd come in me he tried to shove his fist in as well. Yeouch. I wasn't lubed and I'd hadn't been fisted for a long time.
He said he had jacked off three times before he came round. Maybe. He still left a big load in me as I found out the next morning.