Snap

I've been spending too much time online checking out profiles and pix. One caught my eye: a good-looking young guy nearby who mentioned photography among his hobbies. I messaged him to see if he was interested in taking some profile pix for me – mine are crappy and need updating. He said he was on for it.
He came round today. We chatted and then started with some head shots, moving around the apartment looking for the right combination of lighting, backdrop. I'm not a natural for modelling but he was good at getting to do this or that to get me to relax or get the eyes right or whatever.
A few minutes into the session my phone beeped. Here I have to confess that I had mentioned to a guy on bbrt plans for a photo shoot and asked if he might want to come along later to 'help'. As background, the photographer himself had said in a message that I was welcome to wear anything or nothing so I figured he was pretty relaxed about what might happen. When I checked with him about me getting it on with another guy for some action pix he was cool.
So, my phone beeps. Turns out the second guy had arrived well ahead of time. I let him in. What to do... he didn't have much time. We decided to reverse the order. Action shots first. It felt a bit awkward – we had barely got under way. But the photographer was relaxed about it. So the new guy and I went upstairs, stripped off and got down to it while the guy with the camera wandered around taking closeups. I guess there's gotta be a first time for everything...
New guy decided he was ready to fuck me. He pushed in and pumped away. One way or another it wasn't quite working – he wasn't completely hard and I figured he wasn't going to give me a load. Eventually he sat on my face and jerked off so the camera guy got some cum shots. Not the greatest fuck but we got some pix out of it and I got to do my first porn shoot. Looking at the results later I figure I left it years too late: those pix won't be going anywhere.
The good thing about doing it in that order, I realised later, was that it was a great way to get in the mood for being in front of a camera. When we went back to doing vanilla shots later after the guy left I felt a lot more relaxed with the photographer. We had a lot of laughs.

God's work

Sunday night the church carpark is nearly full as I walk past. 
I'm doing my bit for human charity too. I'm in shorts and jockstrap. Cleaned out and lubed. I'm on my way to Fantasyland. bbrt guy has promised to put a load in me. bbrt#2 wants me to stick around afterwards so he can have sloppy seconds. And bbrt#3 is a black guy who wants to get into my hole too.
bbrt guy makes eye contact when I enter. The other guy there looks at me too. I think he could be bbrt#2 but can't tell cos I haven't seen a face pic.
I go into a booth with the first guy. He's got the look of an ageing surfie. Good tan, bleached hair. Tall, lean. 
When I get his pants off I find he has a big dick, half hard.  I suck him for a while. It's a great piece of meat when he hardens up. But he's also got a great butt. Muscled and firm. It's when I turn him round and push my face into his arse that he really gets enthusiastic. I surface after rimming him for five minutes. My dick is hard. I slap my dick on his butt, gently nudge his hole. He stays bent over so I slide the head in. He winces, says he hasn't been fucked in a while. 
We swap places. He slides down into me and dicks me for a few minutes, varying the pace.  Then we swap again. This time he's opened up a bit and his hole is begging to get fucked. 
We mix it up for a while. He's starting to kiss as well. But his dick is going a bit soft on him. I ask if he wants to wait while I go check out the other guy, maybe when I come back he gets sloppy seconds and a chance to put a load in me.
The other guy is a bit chunky. Longer hair, green T. Maybe straight going by the wedding ring. Doesn't seem too sure what he's doing. I get him into a booth and unzip him. he's hard but not that big. But he's got great balls: they float around in a really loose scrotum, plus he's  got a piercing of some sort in there, gets off on having his balls sucked. As I blow him he gets even harder. 
After a few minutes I turn round and offer him my hole. He slides in and pumps away for a minute then pulls out with a worried look on his face. I can't cum he says. What he means is he doesnt want to cum inside me. I squat and suck him again and within a few strokes he's blowing in my mouth.  As we're leaving I ask if he was the other guy off bbrt. He looks puzzled, doesn't know what it is. That answers that question.
I go back to guy #1. Second time round we're both feeling more relaxed. There's a lot more holding and stroking and kissing and joking this time. He's got a great body and skin. I give him a long slow fuck but he stops me from coming inside him, he still wants to dump a load in my hole. Eventually he jerks himself for a minute then shoves his dick into me just as he's coming, He holds it there as he unloads. We laugh, kiss and leave.
The milk of human kindness is oozing out of me as I wander back past the church.   

Hey doc

A young guy has been chasing me on a dating site for a few weeks. The pix he sent me left me curious. He's not pretty, his face looks a bit lived in, but very male. Hair like grown-out mohican. From the body shot he looks fit. I reluctantly agreed to meet him last night: I was working until after 10 but agreed to rendezvous with him near here at midnight.
Turns out he lives close by too, so we went back to his place. I'd had acupuncture earlier in the day for a frozen shoulder so I was feeling mellow. But I immediately felt at ease with him. He wanted to talk. He's early 30s, basically closeted, says he hasn't had much experience with guys (though he's had several boyfriends).
So here we are on his sofa. Although he puts himself down a bit–looks, body–he's very tactile, he's on top of me, legs entwined, touching as we talk. I had thought from the pix and the chat online he was maybe a regular "salaryman". But the apartment doesn't fit: it's upmarket and he's paying for it by himself. He talks about his earlier years. Bad boy at school. Lots of fights. He shows me the scar on his elbow where he stubbed out a cigarette in some exhibition of willpower. Likes travelling. Spent a season pruning vines in Australia, hoping to build up his English. There was the cute boyfriend from Nashville who turned out to be just too suspicious and controlling. Travelling around Europe after graduation, trying out any drugs he can find. And through all of this he keeps saying "I want you to teach me to ...".
Still can't work out what he's after. He's certainly horny: as we lie there I feel his dick pulsing against my leg. I tease him about it. He says it's a problem that he gets hard so easily. He asks what I want. I say I'm enjoying just lying there close, talking. But we decide to take it to bed.
He strips down. He's about my height but lean, muscled. He originally hit me up, he says, because I advertised for someone to run with. He tells me there was no-one in school who could keep up with him. Figures. From other things he says it sounds as if he's always been restless, bit of an exercise junkie. It's going to be embarrassing if we ever get out for a run together.
I tell him I like his body. He hates his body. Too fat, too hairy, not enough muscle... But he's going to have more time to spend in the gym from next month so he says he's going to work out for me. What did I do to deserve this.
He says I'm cute. I think he's out by a few decades but I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder. He likes the shape of my head. Runs his fingers over my skull. Starts naming the different bones: frontal, parietal, temporal, occipital... Describes where he would go in if he was opening up my brain. Wait... Yeah, turns out he's a doctor. Neurosurgeon no less. I'm trying to work this out. He's deeply closeted, seems as if he's not having an easy time of it (n. o gay friends). And yet here he is talking without any inhibitions about himself. Maybe it's easier to do with a foreigner.
He's the same when we start talking about what we're into. He's puppy-dog cuddly and affectionate. But he's not much of a kisser. When I get his pants off he doesn't like me sticking my tongue in his hole because he hasn't showered. But that uniform hanging on the wall... yeah, he gets a kick out of sex in cammies. He wants to know if we can play doctors some time: he wants to examine me while he's wearing his whites. We talk a bit about rough play. Yeah he's up for that.
As for tonight... He's hard again. Doesn't have any rubbers so we can't fuck. I blow him. He loves getting sucked. Comes in my mouth. He's a bit concerned when I swallow–aren't I worried about infections? He's a doctor so can't afford to have any infections, gets blood tested at the hospital twice a year.
I blow him again in the morning when we wake then jerk myself off while he works my nipples. I tossed and turned during the night–whenever I woke he was up against me, skin to skin.
So we'll see where it goes. I don't think I'm going to get much nasty sex out of him: no barebacking, no fisting I would guess, no raunchy rim jobs. But he's one of those guys who's immediately interesting–the energy, restlessness, slightly lost character, hunger for affection, openness. I want to see a lot more of him.    

Testing

I had a free day earlier in the week. Hooked up in the morning on bbrt with an American guy. He put a load in me. Not great sex but we had fun talking. Then an overdue visit to the clinic. All negative. To celebrate I headed off to Jinya. Pretty quiet there but I like it because there's no privacy–pretty much all the guys who go there are OK with playing in front of others or with others. Didn't get more than some half-hearted action the first couple of hours. Then as I was fingering a guy who wanted to get fucked a third guy came close and squatted down. He wasn't a looker. But he was lean, and interested, and then reaching under his robe I found a long hard dick. I moved closer. He spread his thighs to give me better access as I fingered his taint and his hole. He moaned as I leant down and sucked his dick.
Too often places like Jinya seem to take the edge off sex–I guess it's what happens when there are too many men just looking or groping but waiting for Mr Perfect to come along. This time something clicked, we were both hot for each other. I had my tongue down his throat, he had his hands all over me. I was horned up and wanted to feel him inside me. I asked if he would fuck me. We moved to the other side of the room, I stripped off, got on hands and knees. He got naked, spat on his fingers, slicked up, slid inside me then pushed in deep. Long, hard, raw dick. Slow deep dicking. The extra sensation from still having the load inside me from the morning. In less than a minute I was cumming hard, then we were just lying there, smiling, kissing, lost in the sensation that comes after good sex. 
I couldn't tell if he had come or not but he had a big smile on his face too, and didn't seem to want more. Going by the amount of cum that came out of me the next morning I think he had unloaded in me too. I'm still smiling thinking about it. 

Achy achy

I'm sitting here with an aching arsehole. It's not from being fucked hard or fisted (I was fucked hard and at length by K yesterday, then fisted, but it doesn't leave me with this sort of ache). No, I seem to get this feeling when I have a load in my hole. Not sure why–something about how the lining of the arse reacts to all that spooge? Today it was Nori again. In a toilet in the park. Once we get inside he always goes straight for my nipples, works them hard. He tastes of cigarettes when he kisses me. Then he pushes me down onto his dick. He's always hard. He keeps working my nipples while I suck on him. Then reaches down my back and fingers my hole. He finally pulls me up and turns me round before sliding into me. 

It's always intense with him. Partly it's the risk–guys shuffling around outside the door. Plus he's the only guy who always fucks me raw and always cums in me. And I always feel that big mushroom head as he slides in and out. 

Today I'm extra horny. It's hot and I've just run 6km around the park, I'm still sweating like crazy as he fucks me. I pull off him, turn and suck him for a bit to taste my arse on his dick. Then slide back onto him. Something sets me off: he's shorter than me but the combination of him dicking me and twisting my nipple and then biting my neck sends me over the edge before I wanted to cum. Before I know it I'm blowing my load all over the tiles. He's not ready. I have a few painful minutes as he carries on dicking me before he finally unloads inside me.

Now I'm back home with that ache in my hole to remind me. 

Too horny

I like my men horny. But sometimes...
The weather is steamy over here right now. I don't know what effect it has on you, but me, I end up spending a lot of time just thinking about dick. And far too many frustrating hours online looking for it.
Then this morning I got a "hi how are you" message from furry guy. He only ever messages me if he's horny. And when he is he wants it now. After some dithering about where to hook up we agreed to meet in the park. But once he got there he decided he didn't want to fuck in a park toilet. We came back to my place and I took him down to the basement storeroom. Figured we weren't likely to be disturbed there on a Sunday. 
He went straight for my nipples. He now knows that I get crazy horny if he makes them hurt. After a minute of that he pulled out his big hard dick which was already oozing precum. He face fucked me while he dug his nails into my tits. He let me rim him for a minute - he has a tight little butt, real hairy. Ought to be a rimmer's picnic but he cleans up so well there's nothing to taste, and he's not really into it. Bit of a waste. 
Then he was naked and rolling a rubber onto his dick. I had thrown a towel on the floor but he wanted me standing up. I bent right over and held onto a shelf while he pounded me. In less than five minutes he was unloading in the condom. 
It was good while it lasted but he's one of those guys who once they've cum aren't interested in anything more. So much for me wanting to get fisted. He was dressed and out of there in another minute leaving me horny and frustrated.
I wasted the afternoon looking for another fuck. Finally tonight I gave in and settled for the consolation prize. I had kept furry guy's full condom from this morning. I squeezed all the cum into my hole and used that as lube as I slowly slid down onto my longest dildo. I blew a load as the head of the dildo slipped through the sigmoid. So I got his load deep inside me after all.
He's a strange one. Today he was dressed like a middle aged Japanese tourist on safari. The way he talks sometimes he seems to have self image issues. Yet look beyond the bad haircut and the crazy glasses and he's hot: muscular torso, tight butt, great lips, fat dick that's always super hard. Great fucker, usually goes for half an hour. Into some rough stuff too. And a very intense fister. I have never turned him down. Take what you can get when you can get it is my rule.  

I wanna fuck you

He's a young guy  I've hooked up with a few times. He's short, skinny. Urchin face. Tastes of cigarettes. 
He's all top. Fat dick with a big mushroom head. Loves to fuck me raw and put a load in me. And we always hook up in a park toilet. He messaged me last night:

Nori: I wanna fuck you
Me: I could do tomorrow morning
Nori: Let's do it. What time is good?
Me: 1030 at the park.
Nori: OK see you then
Me: Don't shower :@)

It's after 1030 but the rain is pissing down so I've messaged him to say let's wait till the rain stops. 
I haven't got fucked for a week. And haven't had a load in me for a long time. 
Nori is a nasty fucker. Rims my hole first. Kisses me so I can taste my arse on his lips. Works my nipples hard as he slowly slides in and out. Makes me feel his big mushroom head as he moves it round. 
And he gives me a hole full of cum that I can shit out and eat later. 

Ho hum

Furry guy has gone quiet on me. I messaged him a few times but each time he said he was working. We'll see if he resurfaces. I enjoyed him: it's not easy to find a top with a big hard dick who just pushes in and bangs you hard. And then does much the same thing with his fist. And for a bonus he had a lean and hairy body and a great face hidden behind the bad hair and the glasses. 
Meantime I've got K to keep me happy. I overnighted at his place at the weekend. For the time being he seems to have stopped worrying about getting addicted to kinky sex. He pissed inside me again on Saturday. He gets a kick out of it the way a 10-year old boy gets a buzz out of doing something verboten. But mostly it's the usual basics. Sucking each other, him fucking me, rimming me, sucking my pits, demanding my spit. And then sliding his fist into me. 
K now routinely pushes his dick into me raw, especially at the start when he's been licking my hole. Getting spit fucked raw when he's just opening me up hurts like fuck initially but it's a huge turn-on and feels much better than when he rubbers up and slathers lube all over my hole. On Sunday morning he woke me up as he pushed his raw dick into my arse. After some more sleep I finally got off a few hours later just sitting down on his dick and fucking myself up and down on it. He didn't come this time so I still haven't got a load of his cum in my hole. I haven't been getting fucked by anyone else, and certainly not bareback, so maybe he's decided he can live with a certain amount of risk.
Best of all – I guess this means I'm getting old and soft – is just lying there holding each other and kissing. Sunday morning when it was time to go he didn't want to let go. I think he's looking for something more than a fuck bud.

Spring is here

And I'm a happy little piggy. I have two hard, hung tops who are rough fuckers and also like to fist. They're both busy this weekend but normally one or the other is up for some action.
I haven't told you before about Furry Guy. Most Japanese have hair in their pits and their pubes but not much more. Furry guy has hair everywhere, including his arse. Sadly he's not into sweaty pits or getting rimmed, which is a waste. He makes up for it elsewhere. He's not as long as K-boy but he's thick and always hard. And he's very athletic in the way he uses his dick. He especially likes pistoning down into me from above. 
We last hooked up a couple of weeks ago. He's a quiet type, hides behind a lot of hair and big glasses. With the pants and the glasses off he's lean, hot and sexy, with a little furry butt and great lips. He says he hasn't fisted many guys but he seems a natural, knows his way in and what he wants once he gets in. The first time he fisted me I found I could only take it for a few minutes – whatever he was doing, it was so intense I had to get him to pull out. This time I was determined to find a way to take it. I lasted a lot longer but I still don't have the loose hole I need to take what he wanted to give me. I'll persevere. 
Meanwhile things have got interesting with K-boy. Last weekend started the usual way: he wants to taste my pits (I don't shower for a day beforehand) and my pants to get himself horned up. Then he pushed me onto the bed and stuck his tongue down my throat. He wants my spit so I give it to him. This time when he's ready to fuck me he just pushes straight into my hole, no rubber. He's a sweet guy but he's merciless when he's inside me. The last half inch still hurts like fuck, and he doesn't hold back. 
After fucking me every which way he gets back face to face,  pushes his dick back inside me and sticks his tongue down my throat. Can you feel that, he asks me. I can't, but then he smirks and I realise he's pulling his old trick. He's pissed in my hole. He makes a pig of himself there for the next half an hour: fucking me and fingering me while I have a load of his piss inside me, rimming me, kissing me. He delights in the sheer naughtiness of it. I complain that no guy has ever done this to me before. He says I'm the only guy he's ever done it with, blames me for starting it. Totally not true. Eventually I end up squatting over him and sliding down onto his dick, still raw. It's a strange but sexy sensation when a trickle of piss leaks while I'm riding him. At the end I sit on his face so he can take a lick but I'm still holding in whatever is left inside.
We take a pause for a drink. He gets serious. He's worrying again that he's getting so hooked on this kinky stuff that he will lose interest in vanilla sex with other guys. When we first had that conversation I thought he was talking about the barebacking. That's still an issue, though this time he spent more time in me raw than with a rubber. I tell him I haven't barebacked since I got back from my trip, that I don't intend to, but that I will tell him if it happens. He takes this on board. I've never made that sort of commitment to another guy before.
I hadn't planned this but I say more. If he's really worried about getting hooked on the kinky stuff we should go back to vanilla, or just stop having sex. I like him, I say, and I'd like to keep seeing him regardless, even if it means we're going out for a drink or a movie but not fucking. 
K is quiet and thoughtful. We just hold each other. I like that, just wrapping ourselves around each other, enjoying the moment.  
So we'll see where it goes. Apart from the fact we have great sex I just really like being with him, though we haven't spent much time together outside the bedroom. 
         

Old times again

Last month I had a week back home. I was busy with work and friends but I had one night with Jamie. We started about 1am after he finished work. To get in the mood he started on the bottle of rum I had brought in from the duty-free. He fucked me for a while but didn't come. He was more interested in getting his fist into my hole – he hasn't been able to find anyone else to fist since I left. He's got a big hand but got into me on the first go in only a few minutes. I guess I was hungry for it too.
After a bit of a break he went in again. I was more relaxed the second time round plus I was feeling piggy, seeing him after nearly a year away. I told him to go for it. We took our time but he slowly pushed in, deeper than he's been in me before. It was kinda special: he's not normally a kisser but that changes when he's drunk. So there we were, his arm in me halfway to the elbow, and he was resting on top of me with his tongue down my throat. All slow and easy but raunchy at the same time.  It was one of those times when all is good with the world.
When he's drunk Jamie also gets real chatty and funny. It was one of those nights. I don't remember much more except that at the end, when I knew I had to go, I got greedy. My arse was sore from having him inside me earlier but I wanted more. I told him to try to get back in there and just wreck my hole. He took a bit of persuading – he's very careful when he's got a few drinks in him  – but then he got that kid-in-a-toyshop look in his eye, lubed up and got down to it. I've never loosened up to the point where he could punch fist me but he got close, before I eventually had to call a halt. Afterwards he just lay there staring at my hole in disbelief – he can't believe he got this lucky – fingering me and telling me to keep pushing out. I dragged myself back to the hotel just before dawn.

Lost in translation

I hooked up again with K-boy last night. Earlier he had told me he was busy. Then he got in touch in the afternoon to ask if I was still free. Turned out he had arranged to fuck another guy around middle of the day but he hadn't got off and was still feeling horny.
I'm now getting to know what he likes – sweaty pits, eating me out, swallowing as much saliva as I can give him, long kisses. I had an empty stomach so even managed to deep throat him briefly before starting to gag again. I need to work on my technique.
But that's all foreplay. Before too long he rubbers up and he's back in my hole, big and hard as ever. He must have been frustrated from lunchtime: as soon as he got into me he started pummelling me, hurt like fuck but getting banged pelvis to pelvis is also a huge turn-on. 
And so it went, for about three hours. Making out long and slow, some hard fucking, while in between he buries his tongue in my arse or my pits and pigs out. And he fisted me. When he has his fist in my hole he watches it the way a little boy watches a new toy: wide-eyed, completely absorbed. 
He has a tall mirror near the bed. His big dick sticking out from his lean legs and torso is great to watch. So is the variation: up high, plunge fucking me as I'm on my back with legs wide; kneeling between my legs and just swivelling his pelvis as he slides in and out. All good. Only let-down is that when he's fucking me that hard I can't get it up at all – I was limp most of the night.
Eventually he lay back and jacked himself while I licked his armpit. He squirted a big load over the two of us then squirmed as a I licked it all up – he gets ticklish after he cums.
Then we kissed and talked. I had been teasing him about him saying no more kinky stuff – when he said it originally I thought he was only half serious, and I thought he was just a bit worried about getting hooked on piss play and fisting. At one point he asked if I minded that we hadn't done any piss play this time. I was a bit puzzled: it was more his kick than mine, and it was really his call whether he wanted to do it. 
As he went on, talking about his reasons for being uneasy about the "hentai" stuff I slowly realised I had completely missed the point. What he had been getting at the previous week (and the time before, too) was the unsafe stuff – sticking his dick in me raw so he could piss up my arse, or the times when he had stuck his dick in me raw for a few minutes just for the fun of it, or maybe because he knew I got off on it. He talked about the big spike in infections in this town right now among local guys (I had to admit that was news to me) and explained why it would be such a problem for him at work if he got infected. Stuff like that. He was matter of fact about it, wasn't trying to guilt me out or anything, just explaining why it was an issue for him.
I felt a bit stupid because I had so completely missed the point earlier but also embarrassed because I had been making a joke out of something he had been trying to tell me as a serious point. I emailed him later to apologise. He came back to reassure me there was nothing to apologise for.
The funny thing is I had been starting to think that maybe I should stop barebacking with other guys if that was going to be an issue for K-boy. I enjoy screwing around but if I knew I was going to get his dick every week I would just about give up the rest, he's that good. I'm not looking to start a romance or anything but apart from the fact the sex is brilliant the after-sex is also great, and I like just being with him. Anyway I've said we should have a talk about all of that next time we get together. After all these years of careless sex maybe for a change I need to be a bit more responsible. 
You believe me? Haha. Tell me what you think. And I'll let you know how it goes. 

Kinky boy worried he's getting too kinky

I hooked up with Kinky Boy the other night. We get straight down to it. He's a great kisser, fat juicy lips, but also gets off on licking arse. I love it when he surfaces from between my legs and comes up  for a deep kiss with the smell of my arsehole on his face. Now when he's kissing me his big hard dick is rubbing up against my pubes. Then he tries to go down my throat, which turns me on big time, but I keep gagging, he's just too big for me (or I'm out of practice haha).
The sequence blurs from here on but pretty soon he was rubbered up and pushing into my hole. He wants to do me all ways: missionary, doggy, on my side.  Whichever way he goes in it hurts – not the width, though he has a fat dick, but the length, when he pushes up against my inner ring. He stays hard and he likes to go deep so I spend a lot of time in that intense pain/pleasure place.
After a break for a drink and some more kissing he rubbers up and pushes back into me. At one point I'm squatting over him while he slams into me from below. It hurts like fuck but the stimulation has my hole buzzing, close to an orgasm just from being pummelled. 
Then he can't resist. He puts a towel underneath me, slides in raw and smirks as he watches my face. It takes a minute but then I feel the pulsing and the warmth as he starts pissing in my hole. He stays in there a while, still hard. He hesitates and then asks if he can fuck me just like that. I guess. He gets down to it, slowly. My hole is gripping his dick but it still leaks now and then. He reaches down for a taste each time there's a little spill. 
He pulls out, starts fingering my hole, tasting his fingers. Then he puts in two, three. He lifts his eyebrows, asking me. Sure. He makes a fist, lubes up, starts to stretch me, then he's in. Whew, I felt that - I couldn't find my poppers to help relax. But now he's in ... first time I've ever been fisted while my hole is full of piss. Can't quite describe the sensation but it was a turn-on. Still leaking a little bit of course. K boy is wide eyed, fascinated. He's never done this either. 
I forget just where things led from there. It was a long session. He fucked me a lot, there was a pile of rubbers on the floor when we had finished. What I do remember, toward the end, is both of us lying on our backs, opposite ends of the bed, him jacking himself with one hand and pushing the other hand up my hole - it hurt like fuck going in, no extra lube, no poppers, but super hot as he punched my hole the same time he was jacking himself. 
At the end I held him, his tongue down my throat, as he jerked off. He's a big squirter, ended up with cum all over him and me. 
In between times he was telling me he worried he was getting too hooked on the kinky stuff - especially the piss play, though I suspect he was also worried about how often he has started sliding into me raw. Says – with a smile – it's my fault he's getting into all this perverted stuff. Yeah right.