Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Sorry about the lack of updates lately. The fact is I'm not getting much action right now. The past year or so I was getting dicked pretty much every weekend by Jamie, plus he was fisting me most times as well. Now I'm in a new city and haven't yet found anyone to take over. 
I have hooked up a few times with Yoshi. We have a lot of fun - if anything he's more of a slut than me. But he's basically a hungry bottom, ultimately more interested in what goes into his hole than what he can put into mine, to the point where if he's fisting me he will sometimes manoeuvre himself so he can get me to fist him simultaneously. Now I may be generous and giving but when I'm getting fisted I really want the top to be completely focused on me, not trying to get some for himself. My deaf FB Shane is another hungry fist bottom but at least when he's doing me he's completely focused on opening me up and seeing how hard he can work my hole.
Maybe I'll have better luck next weekend. I got hit up by a guy on bbrt who is going to be visiting. He describes himself as Arab, from London. Top, with an extra big dick, ticks just about all the boxes you can tick in a bbrt profile. He says he's poz and undetectable.  
Which raises the question: why do I end up hooking up with so many poz guys? Yoshi, Shane, the deckhelfer in Berlin, the guy in Sydney I didn't tell you about, the black guy in Chicago I didn't tell you about, the S&M top in SFO who broke a cane on my arse, the skinny ginge back home I fucked last year and didn't tell you about, the mad bug chaser/gifter 20 year old that I really don't even want to think about right now... And the cockney Arab who wants to breed me next week. Bit of a pattern there, huh?
I guess the first question is whether I'm a chaser myself. The answer is no. Sure, there is a bit of a frisson that goes with the risk. But I really don't want the hassle that goes with being poz. I'm still just risk averse enough that I won't hook up with guys on bbrt who list their status as unsure or don't care. I'm working on the (maybe dangerous) assumption that a guy who says he's undetectable is probably telling the truth, and the (also risky) calculation that my chances of getting infected by a top who's undetectable are low. But the risk is obviously there, especially if I get fisted before or after taking a load. 
But there is definitely something about poz guys that works for me. I think a lot of it's the attitude. Being completely unapologetic about slutty high-risk sex. The fuck-you view of middle class sexual morality. Fewer hang-ups about age, looks, body. 

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